The Gift of Sitting With Women Who Are Learning to Live Fully

Every December I notice the same thing. I sit across from the women I work with and feel a mix of gratitude and admiration for the way they show up for their lives, even when it feels messy or overwhelming. There is something grounding about witnessing real growth in real time.

Recently a client mentioned a reel about therapists during the holidays. The idea was that we spend December holding all the family drama our clients bring into session. She said it like she felt a little sorry for me. I had to laugh.

Not because she was wrong. The holiday stories absolutely show up. But because I genuinely enjoy it.

Bring it on. Truly. Tell me how the family group chat went sideways. Tell me about the boundary you finally held even though your heart was racing. Tell me how you stayed calm when someone tried to pull you back into an old role.

It honestly feels a little like coaching from the sidelines of a big game. I get to see you use the skills we talk about. I get to see quiet wins unfold. I get to see you make choices that honor the life you want to build, not the one people expect from you.

These moments remind me why I love this work.

The sacredness of the therapeutic relationship

Therapy is not magic. It is connection. It is the steady rhythm of showing up, being honest, being curious, and growing from a place of safety. When a client finds a therapist who feels like the right fit, something shifts. The work becomes clearer. The space becomes easier to breathe in.

I take that seriously. The relationship itself shapes everything we do.

The women who carry the world and are learning to put some of it down

Many of the women I see are incredible at managing life for everyone else. They hold countless roles and responsibilities. They overperform without even thinking about it. Holidays only add another layer.

From the outside it looks capable. On the inside it often feels like burnout waiting to happen.

Which is why the wins in therapy feel so meaningful.
A woman chooses rest without guilt.
Another holds a boundary that used to feel impossible.
Someone else steps out of survival mode and starts shaping a life that nourishes her instead of draining her.

These are powerful shifts. They are not loud. They are not dramatic. But they are transformative.

My gratitude this Christmas

I am grateful for the trust women place in me. I am grateful for the stories they bring into the room. I am grateful for the work we do together that creates real change in their daily lives.

Getting a front row seat to courage is something I never take for granted.

A gentle encouragement this season

If this season feels heavy or overwhelming, you are not alone. Many women are balancing invisible emotional weight on top of everything else. Therapy can be the steady space where you sort through what is working, what is not, and what needs to shift.

Finding the right therapist matters because the relationship matters. When therapy feels like a good fit, the work becomes a supportive partnership. Something grounding. Something safe.

To the women who sit with me each week. Thank you for your trust. Thank you for engaging in the work even on the hard days. And thank you for letting me witness your growth. It is an honor to walk alongside you.

May this season bring small pockets of calm and moments that remind you that you are building a life that feels more meaningful and more yours.

Gratitude That Feels Real: Finding Thankfulness When Life Isn’t Perfect

It is Thanksgiving season, which means the internet is about to explode with gratitude challenges, highlight reels, and perfectly browned turkeys. For many of us, this time of year brings a mix of emotions. We might feel appreciation, exhaustion, or even guilt for not feeling as thankful as we think we should.

If that sounds familiar, take a breath. Gratitude does not have to be big or polished. It does not have to erase what is hard. Real gratitude can live right alongside grief, frustration, or fatigue. In fact, that is usually where it matters most.

The Myth of Constant Gratitude

Somewhere along the way, gratitude became a performance. We are told to just be thankful no matter what we are going through, as if appreciation can cancel out pain. But when life feels heavy, when you are grieving, overwhelmed, or running on empty, gratitude lists can feel like one more thing to fail at.

Gratitude is not about pretending things are fine. It is about noticing small moments of good, even in the middle of the mess.

Sometimes it is a warm drink, a quiet minute before everyone wakes up, or a friend who texts, “thinking of you.” Sometimes it is simply that you made it through a hard day.

If that is all you can find, that is enough.

Gratitude and the Nervous System

Gratitude is not just a nice idea. It actually helps calm the body.

When we pause to notice something we are thankful for, it sends a signal of safety to the nervous system. It does not have to be deep or profound. It just has to be noticed.

So if your mind is running a mile a minute this week, take ten seconds to name one small thing that brings you comfort. A cozy blanket. A good song. That moment when you finally sit down after cooking dinner. These tiny moments of gratitude help your body exhale.

Making Gratitude Feel Doable

You do not need a journal or a fancy practice to be grateful. Try something simple:

• Say thank you out loud for one thing each day.

• Tell someone you appreciate them, even if it is just for doing the dishes.

• Before bed, think of one thing that did not go wrong today. That counts too.

Gratitude can be quiet. It can be imperfect. It can be real.

When Gratitude and Grief Coexist

For some people, the holidays are bittersweet. There may be an empty seat at the table, a change in tradition, or a longing for what used to be. Gratitude does not erase that grief. It simply holds space beside it.

You can miss someone deeply and still be thankful for the love you shared. You can feel lonely and still notice the beauty in the world around you. You can hold both sadness and gratitude at the same time. That is not failure. That is being human.

A Gentle Reminder

This Thanksgiving, do not pressure yourself to feel thankful for everything. Just notice a few things that help you breathe easier. Gratitude is not about perfection or pretending. It is about paying attention.

You are allowed to be a work in progress and still find moments of gratitude along the way.

And if your turkey burns, your relatives argue, or you forget to make the rolls, you are still doing great. Truly.

Protecting Your Peace This Holiday Season: Permission to Slow Down

The holidays are here again, which means twinkling lights, endless to-do lists, and a mix of emotions that can leave even the calmest among us feeling like we might burst into tears in the Target parking lot.

This season can be full of warmth and meaning, but it can also be heavy. Maybe you’re trying to create special memories for your kids while quietly counting the minutes until bedtime. Maybe you’re navigating complicated family dynamics or spending the holidays without someone you love. Maybe you’re just tired. Whatever your situation, it’s okay if this season feels like too much.

The Pressure to Do It All

Somewhere along the way, the holidays became a competition for who can do the most. More cookies, more decorations, more events, more magic. We start believing that the “perfect” holiday means doing everything and doing it with a smile.

But underneath all that doing, many of us are running on fumes. We keep going because slowing down feels uncomfortable. For those who have lived through trauma, chaos can start to feel like home. When things finally get quiet, our nervous system doesn’t always know what to do with that stillness.

So we bake another batch of cookies, volunteer for another event, or plan one more family outing — not because we want to, but because stillness can feel unsafe.

Protecting Your Peace Isn’t Selfish

Protecting your peace during the holidays is not rude, lazy, or selfish. It’s a way of honoring your limits and your healing.

Saying no to an event you dread is an act of self-respect. Setting a spending limit is responsible. Taking a break from the group chat when it’s full of drama is emotional self-care.

You are not responsible for making everyone happy, fixing old wounds, or keeping the peace by sacrificing your own. Sometimes love looks like quietly choosing calm over chaos.

Small Ways to Slow Down and Find Calm

You do not need a full weekend retreat to rest (although that sounds lovely). You can start small.

• Take five slow breaths before you respond to a text invite.

• Step outside and feel the air on your face between errands.

• Choose one or two traditions that actually bring you joy and let the rest go.

• If you need to cry, cry. If you need to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all, do that too.

Your nervous system will thank you for any moment of stillness you give it. Slowing down is how we make space to actually feel the season instead of just surviving it.

A Different Kind of Holiday

Imagine a holiday where peace is the goal, not perfection. One where the lights are a little uneven, the cookies are slightly burnt, and everyone laughs about it anyway.

What if this year you gave yourself permission to make things simpler? You might find that smaller and slower feels a lot more meaningful than bigger and busier ever did.

You deserve a season that doesn’t leave you exhausted and resentful. You deserve rest, connection, and enough breathing room to notice what actually matters.

So instead of pushing through, try this: pause, breathe, and remind yourself that you are allowed to slow down. You are allowed to choose calm over chaos. You are allowed to protect your peace and still have a beautiful holiday.

And if things get messy (because they probably will), remember that peace isn’t about everything going perfectly. It’s about coming back to yourself when it doesn’t.

7 Small Habits to Calm Your Nervous System

When Positivity Isn’t Enough

You’ve probably heard it before: “Just think positive!”

And while positivity has its place, most of us know it isn’t a magic fix. Trying to force positive thoughts when your body feels tense, anxious, or on edge can feel a little like telling yourself “everything’s fine” while smoke alarms are blaring in the background.

Here’s why: your mind and body don’t always run on the same software.

Why “Just Think Positive” Doesn’t Work

Top-down processing happens when your rational brain tries to steer the ship. Reframing situations, looking on the bright side, or repeating affirmations are all top-down strategies.

But your body is also constantly gathering information through bottom-up processing. That’s when your heart races, your muscles tighten, or your stomach drops—even when your thoughts are trying to stay calm.

When your body and mind aren’t on the same page, positivity alone falls short. In fact, the harder you push away stress with “good vibes only,” the more your body may dig in. This is called ironic rebound: when you try not to feel something, it often comes back stronger.

How Trauma and Anxiety Affect the Nervous System

If you’ve experienced trauma or live with chronic anxiety, your nervous system may default to a state of hyper-alertness. This “always on” setting can look like:

• Racing thoughts

• Muscle tension

• Difficulty sleeping

• Irritability or quick startle response

• Feeling burned out or exhausted

The good news: with consistent practice, you can retrain your nervous system toward balance.

7 Small Habits for Nervous System Regulation

These habits are simple, repeatable practices you can weave into everyday life. Over time, they send steady signals of safety to your body and help you recover from stress more quickly.

1. Name Your Intention, Not Just Your Worry

Instead of saying, “I don’t want to feel anxious today,” shift to something actionable:

• “I’ll pause and take three breaths before I answer emails.”

• “I will notice when I feel overwhelmed, and then I’ll step outside for a moment.”

Why it helps: Moving from avoidance to action gives your body a clear path forward.

2. Move Slower Than You Think You Need To

Stress makes us rush. We eat quickly, scroll quickly, even walk quickly. But frantic movement sends your nervous system the message: we must be in danger.

Try walking a little slower, eating with intention, or placing objects down carefully.

Why it helps: Slowing your body tells your brain: we’re safe enough now.

3. Anchor Your Morning

If your day begins with rushing, alarms, or doomscrolling, your nervous system may get stuck in fight-or-flight before breakfast.

Swap those habits for something grounding: stretch, step outside, read something uplifting, or breathe deeply for two minutes.

Why it helps: Calm cues in the morning lower stress hormones and set a steadier tone for the hours ahead.

4. Check In, Not Out

It’s easy to disconnect when stress builds—ignoring your body or powering through work. But disconnection leaves your system running on empty.

Pause for a 30-second check-in: notice your breath, posture, and emotions. Ask yourself: Am I thirsty? Hungry? Tense?

Why it helps: Checking in keeps you aware of your needs before they snowball into overwhelm.

5. Orient to Safety

When your nervous system is on high alert, it scans constantly for danger. You can interrupt that loop with a grounding exercise.

Look around and name three things you see, three things you hear, and three things you feel (like the chair under you).

Why it helps: Orienting anchors you in the present, reminding your body that this moment is safe enough.

6. Build a “Reset List” for Stressful Moments

Even with strong habits, triggers happen. Have a ready list of resets: splash cool water on your face, listen to a calming song, or call a supportive friend.

Why it helps: When stress hijacks your system, decision-making is harder. A pre-made list makes it easier to act.

7. Create a Wind-Down Ritual

Avoidance often shows up at the end of the day—mindless scrolling, numbing, or zoning out. While it feels like rest, it can keep your system wired.

Replace it with a gentle ritual: journaling, stretching, or noting three things you’re grateful for.

Why it helps: Rituals signal to your nervous system: it’s safe enough to rest now.

The Takeaway

You don’t need to overhaul your whole life to regulate your nervous system. Instead, start small. A handful of daily habits gently re-train your body to calm down more quickly after stress.

Over time, the alarms stop blaring so often. Your body learns that safety is possible. And positivity finally has room to take root, because your mind and body are working together.

When Control Is a Coping Skill: What’s Under the Need to Hold It All Together

Most mornings at my house run like a tiny train station. My husband and I get up early for a long walk — we move our bodies, talk about life, solve exactly zero world problems — and then it’s beauty routine, school bags, breakfast, out the door. When the walk starts late, everything else slides, and my patience does that little poof thing.

Also true: my closet is organized by color and item, I prefer to put away the laundry myself (no shade, I just…know where the black T-shirts live), and I keep a rainbow of erasable pens. Multicolored? Yes. Permanent? Let’s not commit too quickly, thanks.

If any of that sounds familiar, you’re in kind company. A strong need for control usually isn’t a personality flaw — it’s a very devoted coping skill that once helped you feel safe.

Control is a protector, not a problem

Clients tell me:

• I hate not being in control.

• If I relax, something will go wrong.

• It has always been this way.

When we slow down with compassion, we usually find a protector part that learned long ago: if I keep everything neat and predictable, maybe we will be okay. She is not the enemy. She is tired. She has been on security duty for years.

In session, I often ask, “How old does this part think you are?”
That simple check-in lets your adult self reassure the younger part: we are safe now, we are grown, and we can be naturally in charge without being on high alert.

Where the need for control starts

If you grew up with chaos, criticism, or caretaking adults, your nervous system reached for predictability. You learned to scan for danger, keep the peace, avoid mess, and minimize needs. Control became your alarm system. Loud. Persistent. Hard to ignore.

Trauma does not live only in thoughts. It lives in the body and in survival responses. You can understand your past perfectly and still feel your chest tighten when a plan changes or a tone shifts. That is not a mindset failure. That is your body trying to keep you safe the way it learned.

Quick self-check: is control running the show?

• Hyper-vigilant planning so nothing goes wrong

• Melting down (quietly) when plans change

• Doing it yourself because it is “easier”

• Apologizing for having needs

• Rest feels unsafe or like wasted time

• You are calm at H-E-B until the salsa aisle is out of your brand and then, whoops, your shoulders are at your ears

If you nodded at a few, you are in good company.

What healing looks like (we are not ripping control away)

We do not bulldoze coping skills that once kept you safe. We earn your system’s trust so control can downshift.

In therapy, I often blend:

• EMDR: to reprocess the moments that installed beliefs like “It is all on me” or “I am not safe unless I manage everything.”

• Parts work: to meet your inner Project Manager with curiosity and invite new teammates like the Part That Rests and the Part That Asks For Help.

• DBT skills: to ride waves without white-knuckling. Think distress tolerance (TIPP), emotion regulation, and mindful pauses that keep you present when the plan changes.

A mentor once called EMDR “brain magic.” I get why. I have seen clients go from “stability is not realistic for me” to “the plan changed and I stayed present.” No personality transplant. Just a quieter alarm and more room to be human.

A tiny practice to try this week

Name. Thank. Choose.

1. Name the part: “Here is my Project Manager.”

2. Thank it: “You have worked so hard to keep us safe.”

3. Choose a micro-shift: “We are safe right now. I will do the good-enough version and step outside for five minutes.”

Small choices teach the body what the mind already knows: safety is possible here.

The goal is not to let go of control forever

The goal is to feel safe enough that you do not need control all the time. When safety grows inside you, control becomes a tool, not a full-time job.

If you are ready to trade hyper-management for steadier peace, I would love to help. I offer a free 15-minute consultation to see if EMDR, parts-informed therapy, and DBT might be a good fit.

Back-to-School Isn’t Just for Kids: 3 Ways to Reclaim Your Own Routine

Let’s be honest.
August is weird. Half your house is covered in sunscreen-sticky popsicle sticks and the other half is full of school supply lists and “Please fill this out before Monday” emails.

You might be thinking: Once they’re back in school, I’ll finally get my life together again.
But if we’re being real…that fresh-start feeling doesn’t always arrive with the school bell.

It’s normal to feel overwhelmed, scattered, or even a little lost after the long stretch of summer survival mode. That’s not a failure — it’s your nervous system asking for a reset.

So here are 3 realistic ways to gently take back your routine — without a color-coded planner or a full personality transplant.

1. Start With Anchors, Not Schedules

Forget the Pinterest-perfect time blocks for now. Your nervous system likely needs anchors — small routines that help your body know you’re safe and things are okay.

These are simple, repeatable actions that help you feel more grounded and less reactive.

Try anchoring with:

• Drinking a glass of water before coffee

• Sitting down to eat without multitasking

• Five deep breaths in the car before pickup

• Washing your face before bed (even if you're exhausted)

• Putting your phone down while you brush your teeth

Anchors don’t need to be aesthetic. They just need to happen often enough to help you land in your body again.

You don’t need a perfect routine — you just need a few things you can count on.

2. Give Yourself Permission to Be Tired

Here’s the thing:
You might not feel instantly motivated once school starts. In fact, once the chaos dies down, the fatigue might finally catch up with you.

This doesn’t mean you’re lazy.
It means your nervous system has been sprinting all summer, and now it’s saying: “Can we rest now?”

Instead of fighting the exhaustion, try to support it:

Small ways to give yourself space:

• Do the bare minimum one day a week — on purpose

• Say no to non-essential commitments

• Let the laundry pile grow while you rest

• Make breakfast-for-dinner a weekly tradition

• Build in a 10-minute “nothing” window before bedtime

This is how we begin to move out of survival mode — by offering ourselves the care we’ve given everyone else.

3. Use the Reset to Check In on You

Back-to-school season is often a time when moms start to think:
“Okay… now what about me?”

That’s not selfish. It’s sacred.

This is actually a great time to ask:

• What do I need emotionally right now?

• What habits or rhythms actually help me feel grounded?

• Do I need more support — or am I white-knuckling again?

Maybe that means starting therapy (or returning to it after a summer pause).
Maybe it means journaling for 5 minutes instead of scrolling.
Maybe it means finally admitting that you’re not okay — and that’s reason enough to reach out.

This isn’t about becoming a “better version” of you. It’s about reconnecting with the parts of you that got lost in the chaos.

Something to Sit With:

What would it look like to prioritize your well-being in the same way you prioritize everyone else’s?

Just something to consider as the backpacks get zipped and the routines return.

When Talk Therapy Isn’t Enough: How EMDR Helps When You’re Still Stuck

You’ve done the journaling.
You’ve talked through your story (maybe more than once).
You’ve read the self-help books, listened to the podcasts, and tried to "stay present."

And still… something’s not shifting.

Maybe you're reacting in ways that don’t feel like you.
Maybe you know why you're overwhelmed, but can’t stop the spiral.
Maybe you're starting to wonder: “Am I just bad at healing?”

If any of this feels familiar, take a deep breath and exhale.
You’re not broken. And you're definitely not alone.
But it might be time for a different kind of therapy — one that goes deeper than words.

That’s where EMDR comes in.

Talk Therapy Can Be Great — Until It Isn’t

Let me start by saying: I love talk therapy.
It’s validating, clarifying, and incredibly helpful for many people. Sometimes we do just need someone to witness our story and help us untangle the emotional mess in our heads.

But there’s a point — especially for trauma survivors — where talk therapy starts to feel like mental gymnastics.
You understand your patterns.
You know where they came from.
And yet... you're still triggered by your partner’s tone, your kid’s meltdown, or your own inner critic whispering, “You’re not doing enough.”

Sound familiar?

That’s not a therapy failure. That’s your nervous system doing what it learned to do.

Here’s the Thing: You Can’t Logic Your Way Out of a Nervous System Response

You can be the most insightful, self-aware person in the world — and still feel stuck in the same loops.

Because trauma isn’t just stored in your thoughts.
It’s stored in your body, your beliefs, and your automatic survival responses.

Here’s what that might look like:

• You know you’re safe now, but your body still goes into fight, flight, or freeze

• You know it wasn’t your fault, but you still feel shame

• You try to set boundaries, but your whole system goes into guilt or panic

These aren’t “mindset issues.” These are unfinished trauma responses, and EMDR helps complete them.

Okay But... What Is EMDR?

EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing — which, yes, sounds a little like a sci-fi brain procedure. (You're not the first to side-eye it.)

A mentor of mine used to say she was doing “brain magic” when she used EMDR — and honestly? She wasn’t wrong.

Here’s what makes it powerful:
EMDR helps your brain reprocess stuck memories — not by retelling them over and over, but by using bilateral stimulation (like eye movements or tapping) to help your nervous system finally finish what it couldn’t complete back then.

It’s not about erasing the past.
It’s about helping your brain recognize, “This isn’t happening anymore. I’m safe now.”

What Makes EMDR Different (and Sometimes a Better Fit)

Unlike traditional therapy, EMDR:

• Works directly with your nervous system

• Doesn’t require you to explain every detail

• Targets beliefs like “I’m not safe” or “I have to be perfect” at their root

• Helps protective parts of you (the overfunctioner, the avoider, the people-pleaser) finally rest

It’s not about willpower. It’s not about insight. It’s about resolution.

A Real-Life Example (That Might Sound Like You)

Let’s say you grew up in a home where emotions weren’t safe. You’ve already connected the dots in therapy: you learned to fawn, avoid conflict, and become "the easy one."

You get it.
And yet…

• You still panic when someone’s upset with you

• You still feel like your needs are too much

• You still keep the peace at your own expense

With EMDR, we don’t just talk about how that belief was formed. We reprocess the memory that installed it in the first place.

Clients often start by saying things like:

“I just don’t think emotional stability is possible for me.”

And months later?
They're saying:

“Wait... I handled that differently. I didn’t shut down. I didn’t spiral. I felt calm — and I didn’t even have to try.”

That’s the shift EMDR creates.
It’s not willpower. It’s nervous system integration.

“But I’m Not Ready to Revisit the Hard Stuff.”

That’s okay — EMDR starts with resourcing, not reprocessing.
Before we ever go near a painful memory, we focus on:

• Grounding

• Safety

• Emotional regulation

• Building trust with your system

You are always in control.
We go at your pace.
And we only open what you feel ready to open.

Sometimes, just learning to sit with yourself differently is the most healing part of the process.

You’re Not “Bad” at Therapy — You Might Just Need the Right Kind

If you’ve tried therapy and felt like you were spinning your wheels, EMDR might be the missing piece.

I’ve seen clients let go of pain they never thought would budge.
I’ve watched them go from “that’s not realistic for me” to actually living the relationships, self-trust, and emotional steadiness they never thought were possible.

At Flourish Therapy and Wellness, I help women who’ve been carrying too much for too long — women who are smart, self-aware, and deeply tired of feeling like healing is always just out of reach.

We do the work gently.
With science.
With compassion.
And with real hope that your story can shift — not just in your mind, but in your body and your life.

Want to know if EMDR could help you get unstuck?
I offer a free 15-minute consultation — no pressure, no push — just a safe space to explore if therapy might be right for you.

Book Your Consult Here

Why Summer Feels So Hard (Even When You Love Time With Your Kids) — And How to Stay Regulated

You love your kids.
You’re grateful for the sunshine.
And you’re also… exhausted.

If summer break feels harder than it “should,” you're not alone.
Many women — especially moms, caregivers, or those carrying a lot — find themselves feeling overwhelmed, overstimulated, and on edge during the summer months.

Even if everything looks fine from the outside, your nervous system might be telling a different story.

So Why Does Summer Feel So Dysregulating?

Trauma therapy often teaches us that the body remembers what the mind tries to minimize. And summer, despite its bright exterior, can be a perfect storm for internal chaos — especially for those in long-term survival mode.

Let’s break it down:

• Routines disappear: Without predictable structure, your nervous system may feel unmoored

• More noise, less space: If you’re constantly “on” for your kids or family, your system might never get a chance to reset

• Old triggers resurface: Unprocessed emotions can sneak up when there’s less external structure to hold things together

• No time for you: Caregiving intensifies, while time to regulate, rest, or process disappears

And if you're already someone who tends to carry too much, manage everyone else's needs, or ignore your own signs of burnout — summer can push those patterns into overdrive.

What’s Really Happening Underneath

From a trauma-informed lens, this season often brings up internal parts that are trying to cope:

• The overfunctioning part that says “just keep going”

• The shut-down part that zones out after the kids go to bed

• The perfectionist part that tries to make every day magical

• The resentful part that feels unseen, but doesn’t know how to say it

You are not broken for feeling scattered or snappy.
Your system is trying to protect you — but it may be doing so in ways that are no longer helpful.

That’s where regulation work comes in.

How to Stay Regulated in a Dysregulated Season

Here are a few practical ways to support your nervous system, your emotions, and you — even in the middle of a messy, noisy summer.

Name What’s Happening Inside You

Start by simply noticing:

• “I’m feeling overstimulated.”

• “I’m in survival mode right now.”

• “A part of me is exhausted and trying to shut down.”

Naming the state helps shift your brain from reaction to awareness.

Use the TIPP Skill (DBT Quick Reset Tool)

TIPP helps your body calm down fast when you're flooded:

• T – Temperature: Splash cold water on your face or hold an ice pack

• I – Intense exercise: Do 30 seconds of jumping jacks, wall pushups, or dance it out

• P – Paced breathing: Breathe in for 4, out for 6

• P – Progressive muscle relaxation: Tense and release your shoulders, jaw, or fists

Even just one step can help your body shift gears.

Schedule One Pocket of Regulation Per Day

This isn’t about long self-care rituals. It’s about tiny moments that restore you.

Try:

• Sitting outside alone for 5 minutes

• Putting in headphones and breathing deeply during nap time

• Stretching before bed

• Saying “no” to one thing — even if it’s just picking up the living room

Tiny boundaries = nervous system kindness.

Be Gentle With the Parts That Are Struggling

Instead of pushing through, try speaking to your inner parts with compassion:

• “Of course you’re overwhelmed. It’s been a lot.”

• “You’ve been trying so hard to hold it all together.”

• “You’re not failing. You’re exhausted.”

Compassion creates internal safety — and internal safety allows for regulation.

You’re Not Too Much — You’re Carrying Too Much

Summer might look like sunshine, but for many women, it brings overstimulation, invisible labor, and emotional overload.

The good news? You can learn to regulate, reconnect, and feel more steady — even in a season that feels anything but.

At Flourish Therapy and Wellness, I work with women who are holding more than their share. Using tools like DBT, parts work, and EMDR, we create space to rest, feel, and rebuild.

You don’t have to keep running on empty.

Let’s talk. I offer a free 15-minute consultation to see if therapy might be a supportive next step for you this season.

Feeling Too Much, Too Fast? How DBT Helps You Stay Grounded

Have you ever had emotions hit you like a tidal wave?

One moment you're fine, and the next you're overwhelmed, irritated, panicked, or shut down — without fully knowing why.

Maybe you’ve been told you’re “too sensitive” or that you “overreact.”
Or maybe you just wish you had an off switch for your feelings.

Here’s the truth: You’re not too much. Your nervous system is doing what it learned to do.

And there are tools that can help.

One of the most effective and trauma-sensitive tools I use in therapy is something called DBT and it’s a game-changer when it comes to staying grounded during hard moments.

What Is DBT?

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is a therapy approach that helps you regulate your emotions, cope with stress, and respond in ways that align with your values — not just your overwhelm.

Originally developed to support people with intense emotions and trauma histories, DBT blends mindfulness, acceptance, and change-based strategies to help you build emotional resilience and internal stability.

It’s not about “fixing” your emotions.
It’s about learning how to feel them without drowning in them.

Why DBT Matters in Trauma Therapy

When we do deeper trauma work — like EMDR or parts work — it can bring up old emotional pain. That’s why I never rush into reprocessing.

Before we go anywhere near those wounds, we build your inner resources first.
DBT provides tools to help you:

• Stay present when things get intense

• Calm your nervous system when triggered

• Create space between reaction and response

• Reconnect with your body safely

In short: DBT helps you stay stable while doing the deep work.

The Four Modules of DBT — and What They Help With

Here’s a breakdown of the core areas DBT teaches, and how each one supports your healing journey:

1. Mindfulness: Come Back to the Present

Mindfulness helps you observe your thoughts and feelings without getting swept away by them.

You learn how to:

• Notice what's happening inside you

• Stay grounded in your body and the moment

• Create space between your feelings and your actions

This is key when trauma pulls you into the past or future. Mindfulness helps you come back to now.

2. Distress Tolerance: Survive the Storm Without Making It Worse

This module teaches you how to get through emotional pain without shutting down, exploding, or turning to harmful coping.

You learn:

• Crisis survival skills

• Soothing techniques for when your system is flooded

• How to tolerate discomfort without acting on it

Especially helpful when memories, triggers, or conflict feel too big to handle.

3. Emotion Regulation: Understand and Manage Intense Feelings

Emotion regulation skills help you:

• Identify and name your emotions (even the confusing ones)

• Decrease emotional vulnerability

• Respond intentionally instead of reacting impulsively

This module helps clients who feel like they're always “too much” learn how to work with their emotions instead of against them.

4. Interpersonal Effectiveness: Speak Up and Set Boundaries Without Guilt

This is about navigating relationships, even tough ones, with confidence and clarity.

You learn:

• How to ask for what you need

• How to say no without shame

• How to maintain relationships while honoring yourself

Perfect for clients who’ve lost themselves in caregiving, people-pleasing, or surviving in high-conflict environments.

One Simple Skill You Can Try Today

Here’s one powerful grounding skill I often teach in sessions:
The “TIPP” Skill from Distress Tolerance in DBT

TIPP stands for Temperature, Intense Exercise, Paced Breathing, and Progressive Muscle Relaxation. These skills are designed to quickly shift your body out of emotional overwhelm and into a more regulated state.

T — Temperature
Hold an ice pack, splash cold water on your face, or dip your hands in cold water.
This activates your body’s dive reflex, which slows your heart rate and helps calm intense emotion quickly.

I — Intense Exercise
Do 30 to 60 seconds of jumping jacks, high knees, squats, or a brisk walk.
This burns off excess adrenaline and helps your nervous system reset.

P — Paced Breathing
Slow your breathing to inhale for 4 seconds, exhale for 6 seconds.
This helps your brain and body register safety and reduces panic or anxiety.

P — Progressive Muscle Relaxation
Tense and then release each muscle group in your body, one at a time (e.g., fists, shoulders, jaw).
This helps discharge tension and reconnects you to your physical self in the present moment.

You Can Learn to Ride the Waves

If your emotions feel like too much, too fast, you are not broken. You’ve been in survival mode. DBT is a toolkit that helps you move from just surviving to feeling grounded, steady, and in control.

At Flourish Therapy and Wellness, I weave DBT skills into trauma work like EMDR to help my clients feel safe and supported every step of the way.

You don’t have to dive into deep healing without a life raft. Let’s build the tools first — and take it one step at a time, together.

Want to learn more or get support?
I offer a free 15-minute consultation to explore if therapy with me is the right fit for you.

What Is EMDR Therapy — And Could It Help You?

If you’ve been carrying something heavy for a long time — a painful memory, a deep hurt, a “why can’t I just move on?” feeling — you might wonder if therapy could ever really help.

Maybe you’ve tried talking it out and felt worse after.
Maybe the thought of reliving it all sounds terrifying.
Maybe you’re just tired of holding it together.

That’s where EMDR comes in.

So... What Is EMDR?

EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing — but don’t worry, you don’t need to remember all of that.

What matters is this:
EMDR helps your brain process traumatic or painful experiences in a way that actually reduces their emotional charge.

It’s like your brain has a “stuck file” full of unprocessed memories and EMDR helps that file finally move through the system, so it doesn’t keep triggering you over and over.

Here’s a Metaphor: The Broken Alarm System

Imagine your brain is like a smoke detector.

When real danger happens — a fire, for example — it goes off.
But sometimes, after trauma, that alarm gets stuck in the “on” position.
Now every burnt piece of toast, every heated conversation, every memory, triggers the alarm — even though the danger is long gone.

EMDR helps recalibrate that alarm system.
It doesn’t erase the past — it just helps your brain finally realize that the fire is out and you're safe now.

But Wait... Do I Have to Relive Everything?

No. This is one of the biggest myths about EMDR.

You do not have to tell your whole story in detail.
You don’t have to relive everything.
You don’t have to talk about anything until you feel ready.

EMDR focuses on how the memory is stored in your nervous system — not how you explain it out loud. It’s often gentler than traditional talk therapy, especially for people who’ve been through trauma.

You are always in control.
We go at your pace.
And I’ll be with you the whole way.

How EMDR Addresses Negative Core Beliefs

One of the most impactful parts of EMDR is how it helps transform negative core beliefs you may have carried for years.

These beliefs usually come from trauma or painful life experiences — especially in childhood — and they often show up as inner narratives like:

Common Negative Core Beliefs:

• I’m not enough

• I’m not safe

• My needs don’t matter

• I’m a burden

• I should have done something

• I’m unlovable

• I can’t trust anyone

• I’m too much

Through EMDR, we explore where those beliefs took root and help your brain reprocess them into more adaptive, compassionate beliefs.

Examples of More Adaptive Beliefs:

• I am enough just as I am

• I am safe now

• My needs are valid and important

• I am allowed to take up space

• I did the best I could

• I am lovable and worthy of connection

• I can choose who to trust

• I can be myself and still be accepted

You don’t have to force these new beliefs. EMDR helps them feel true — not just as affirmations, but as felt experiences your nervous system actually believes.

What Happens in an EMDR Session?

EMDR follows a structured process, but it’s always tailored to you. A few key elements include:

• Preparation: You learn grounding and coping tools before we ever go near painful memories.

• Treatment planning and target identification: Together, we explore the experiences, memories, or beliefs that continue to affect you today. These become the “targets” for EMDR — not just big traumatic events, but also moments that shaped how you see yourself, your safety, or your worth.

• Targeting a memory: You bring up just enough of a memory to work with — not to get overwhelmed, but to process.

• Bilateral stimulation: This might be eye movements, tapping, or buzzers in your hands — it helps both sides of the brain process information in a more adaptive way.

• Reprocessing: Over time, the memory becomes less intense, less “charged,” and more resolved.

Clients often say things like "It still happened, but it doesn’t hurt the same way anymore."

Is EMDR Right for Me?

It might be — especially if you:

• Feel stuck in the past or triggered often

• Can’t explain your reactions, but know they’re linked to something deeper

• Feel like you’ve already talked about things but still carry the weight

• Struggle with anxiety, PTSD, childhood trauma, or emotional overwhelm

At Flourish Therapy and Wellness, I specialize in using EMDR with women who are carrying too much — sometimes for years — and are ready to feel more grounded, free, and whole.

You Can Heal the Parts of You That Still Hurt

If you’re curious about EMDR, I’d love to talk with you.

There’s no pressure and no expectation to jump in fast.
Just a safe place to explore if this could be part of your healing.

Let’s connect. I offer a free 15-minute consultation to help you decide if EMDR or trauma therapy might be a good fit for you.

Why You Shut Down When Life Gets Too Loud

Have you ever had a moment where everything just…stopped?

Your mind goes blank. You feel disconnected from your body. You know you should care, but you just don’t. Maybe you're scrolling for hours, staring at a wall, or doing everything you can to avoid what’s in front of you.

If this sounds familiar, you're not broken and you're not alone. This is actually a very common trauma response.

The Freeze Response: Your Nervous System's Survival Mode

When life feels too overwhelming, your nervous system steps in to protect you. Most people have heard of "fight or flight," but there's another important response: freeze. It’s your body’s way of saying, “This is too much. Let’s shut down until it feels safe again.”

This might show up as:

• Numbness or emotional flatness

• Spacing out or disconnecting

• Feeling tired all the time

• Going through the motions but not feeling present

• Procrastinating or avoiding things you normally care about

You may feel lazy, unmotivated, or “not yourself,” but what’s actually happening is this: your body is trying to protect you the best way it knows how.

Why It Happens: Trauma and Emotional Overload

If you've lived through experiences where you had to be “on” all the time emotionally, mentally, or physically, you may have learned to shut down as a survival strategy. It can come from:

• Growing up in a high-stress or chaotic home

• Having to be the “strong one” for everyone

• Experiencing abuse, neglect, or betrayal

• Being constantly overwhelmed with no time to rest or feel safe

Over time, your nervous system starts to view rest, stillness, or emotional vulnerability as dangerous. So when life gets intense, your body pulls the emergency brake.

There’s Nothing Wrong With You

This is the most important thing I want you to know:
Your reactions make sense.
They’re rooted in protection, not weakness.

Your system may be stuck in survival mode, but that doesn't mean you're broken. It means you’ve been carrying too much for too long, and now it’s time to gently set it down.

How Therapy Can Help You Reconnect

You don’t have to figure this out alone. At Flourish Therapy and Wellness, I help women just like you heal from trauma, reclaim their energy, and feel connected to life again.

We use a blend of approaches tailored to your needs, including:

• EMDR to help your brain process painful memories without reliving them

• DBT skills like grounding, emotion regulation, and mindfulness to help you feel safe in your body again

• Parts work to gently meet the protective parts of you that learned to shut down

Together, we can build a sense of internal safety so you don’t have to live in shutdown or survival mode anymore.

You Can Feel Alive Again

If you’ve been numb, disconnected, or just going through the motions, therapy can help you reconnect with yourself.
Not overnight, and not without effort, but with care, consistency, and support.

It’s possible to feel present, peaceful, and more like yourself again.