Why Summer Feels So Hard (Even When You Love Time With Your Kids) — And How to Stay Regulated

You love your kids.
You’re grateful for the sunshine.
And you’re also… exhausted.

If summer break feels harder than it “should,” you're not alone.
Many women — especially moms, caregivers, or those carrying a lot — find themselves feeling overwhelmed, overstimulated, and on edge during the summer months.

Even if everything looks fine from the outside, your nervous system might be telling a different story.

So Why Does Summer Feel So Dysregulating?

Trauma therapy often teaches us that the body remembers what the mind tries to minimize. And summer, despite its bright exterior, can be a perfect storm for internal chaos — especially for those in long-term survival mode.

Let’s break it down:

• Routines disappear: Without predictable structure, your nervous system may feel unmoored

• More noise, less space: If you’re constantly “on” for your kids or family, your system might never get a chance to reset

• Old triggers resurface: Unprocessed emotions can sneak up when there’s less external structure to hold things together

• No time for you: Caregiving intensifies, while time to regulate, rest, or process disappears

And if you're already someone who tends to carry too much, manage everyone else's needs, or ignore your own signs of burnout — summer can push those patterns into overdrive.

What’s Really Happening Underneath

From a trauma-informed lens, this season often brings up internal parts that are trying to cope:

• The overfunctioning part that says “just keep going”

• The shut-down part that zones out after the kids go to bed

• The perfectionist part that tries to make every day magical

• The resentful part that feels unseen, but doesn’t know how to say it

You are not broken for feeling scattered or snappy.
Your system is trying to protect you — but it may be doing so in ways that are no longer helpful.

That’s where regulation work comes in.

How to Stay Regulated in a Dysregulated Season

Here are a few practical ways to support your nervous system, your emotions, and you — even in the middle of a messy, noisy summer.

Name What’s Happening Inside You

Start by simply noticing:

• “I’m feeling overstimulated.”

• “I’m in survival mode right now.”

• “A part of me is exhausted and trying to shut down.”

Naming the state helps shift your brain from reaction to awareness.

Use the TIPP Skill (DBT Quick Reset Tool)

TIPP helps your body calm down fast when you're flooded:

• T – Temperature: Splash cold water on your face or hold an ice pack

• I – Intense exercise: Do 30 seconds of jumping jacks, wall pushups, or dance it out

• P – Paced breathing: Breathe in for 4, out for 6

• P – Progressive muscle relaxation: Tense and release your shoulders, jaw, or fists

Even just one step can help your body shift gears.

Schedule One Pocket of Regulation Per Day

This isn’t about long self-care rituals. It’s about tiny moments that restore you.

Try:

• Sitting outside alone for 5 minutes

• Putting in headphones and breathing deeply during nap time

• Stretching before bed

• Saying “no” to one thing — even if it’s just picking up the living room

Tiny boundaries = nervous system kindness.

Be Gentle With the Parts That Are Struggling

Instead of pushing through, try speaking to your inner parts with compassion:

• “Of course you’re overwhelmed. It’s been a lot.”

• “You’ve been trying so hard to hold it all together.”

• “You’re not failing. You’re exhausted.”

Compassion creates internal safety — and internal safety allows for regulation.

You’re Not Too Much — You’re Carrying Too Much

Summer might look like sunshine, but for many women, it brings overstimulation, invisible labor, and emotional overload.

The good news? You can learn to regulate, reconnect, and feel more steady — even in a season that feels anything but.

At Flourish Therapy and Wellness, I work with women who are holding more than their share. Using tools like DBT, parts work, and EMDR, we create space to rest, feel, and rebuild.

You don’t have to keep running on empty.

Let’s talk. I offer a free 15-minute consultation to see if therapy might be a supportive next step for you this season.

Feeling Too Much, Too Fast? How DBT Helps You Stay Grounded

Have you ever had emotions hit you like a tidal wave?

One moment you're fine, and the next you're overwhelmed, irritated, panicked, or shut down — without fully knowing why.

Maybe you’ve been told you’re “too sensitive” or that you “overreact.”
Or maybe you just wish you had an off switch for your feelings.

Here’s the truth: You’re not too much. Your nervous system is doing what it learned to do.

And there are tools that can help.

One of the most effective and trauma-sensitive tools I use in therapy is something called DBT and it’s a game-changer when it comes to staying grounded during hard moments.

What Is DBT?

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is a therapy approach that helps you regulate your emotions, cope with stress, and respond in ways that align with your values — not just your overwhelm.

Originally developed to support people with intense emotions and trauma histories, DBT blends mindfulness, acceptance, and change-based strategies to help you build emotional resilience and internal stability.

It’s not about “fixing” your emotions.
It’s about learning how to feel them without drowning in them.

Why DBT Matters in Trauma Therapy

When we do deeper trauma work — like EMDR or parts work — it can bring up old emotional pain. That’s why I never rush into reprocessing.

Before we go anywhere near those wounds, we build your inner resources first.
DBT provides tools to help you:

• Stay present when things get intense

• Calm your nervous system when triggered

• Create space between reaction and response

• Reconnect with your body safely

In short: DBT helps you stay stable while doing the deep work.

The Four Modules of DBT — and What They Help With

Here’s a breakdown of the core areas DBT teaches, and how each one supports your healing journey:

1. Mindfulness: Come Back to the Present

Mindfulness helps you observe your thoughts and feelings without getting swept away by them.

You learn how to:

• Notice what's happening inside you

• Stay grounded in your body and the moment

• Create space between your feelings and your actions

This is key when trauma pulls you into the past or future. Mindfulness helps you come back to now.

2. Distress Tolerance: Survive the Storm Without Making It Worse

This module teaches you how to get through emotional pain without shutting down, exploding, or turning to harmful coping.

You learn:

• Crisis survival skills

• Soothing techniques for when your system is flooded

• How to tolerate discomfort without acting on it

Especially helpful when memories, triggers, or conflict feel too big to handle.

3. Emotion Regulation: Understand and Manage Intense Feelings

Emotion regulation skills help you:

• Identify and name your emotions (even the confusing ones)

• Decrease emotional vulnerability

• Respond intentionally instead of reacting impulsively

This module helps clients who feel like they're always “too much” learn how to work with their emotions instead of against them.

4. Interpersonal Effectiveness: Speak Up and Set Boundaries Without Guilt

This is about navigating relationships, even tough ones, with confidence and clarity.

You learn:

• How to ask for what you need

• How to say no without shame

• How to maintain relationships while honoring yourself

Perfect for clients who’ve lost themselves in caregiving, people-pleasing, or surviving in high-conflict environments.

One Simple Skill You Can Try Today

Here’s one powerful grounding skill I often teach in sessions:
The “TIPP” Skill from Distress Tolerance in DBT

TIPP stands for Temperature, Intense Exercise, Paced Breathing, and Progressive Muscle Relaxation. These skills are designed to quickly shift your body out of emotional overwhelm and into a more regulated state.

T — Temperature
Hold an ice pack, splash cold water on your face, or dip your hands in cold water.
This activates your body’s dive reflex, which slows your heart rate and helps calm intense emotion quickly.

I — Intense Exercise
Do 30 to 60 seconds of jumping jacks, high knees, squats, or a brisk walk.
This burns off excess adrenaline and helps your nervous system reset.

P — Paced Breathing
Slow your breathing to inhale for 4 seconds, exhale for 6 seconds.
This helps your brain and body register safety and reduces panic or anxiety.

P — Progressive Muscle Relaxation
Tense and then release each muscle group in your body, one at a time (e.g., fists, shoulders, jaw).
This helps discharge tension and reconnects you to your physical self in the present moment.

You Can Learn to Ride the Waves

If your emotions feel like too much, too fast, you are not broken. You’ve been in survival mode. DBT is a toolkit that helps you move from just surviving to feeling grounded, steady, and in control.

At Flourish Therapy and Wellness, I weave DBT skills into trauma work like EMDR to help my clients feel safe and supported every step of the way.

You don’t have to dive into deep healing without a life raft. Let’s build the tools first — and take it one step at a time, together.

Want to learn more or get support?
I offer a free 15-minute consultation to explore if therapy with me is the right fit for you.

What Is EMDR Therapy — And Could It Help You?

If you’ve been carrying something heavy for a long time — a painful memory, a deep hurt, a “why can’t I just move on?” feeling — you might wonder if therapy could ever really help.

Maybe you’ve tried talking it out and felt worse after.
Maybe the thought of reliving it all sounds terrifying.
Maybe you’re just tired of holding it together.

That’s where EMDR comes in.

So... What Is EMDR?

EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing — but don’t worry, you don’t need to remember all of that.

What matters is this:
EMDR helps your brain process traumatic or painful experiences in a way that actually reduces their emotional charge.

It’s like your brain has a “stuck file” full of unprocessed memories and EMDR helps that file finally move through the system, so it doesn’t keep triggering you over and over.

Here’s a Metaphor: The Broken Alarm System

Imagine your brain is like a smoke detector.

When real danger happens — a fire, for example — it goes off.
But sometimes, after trauma, that alarm gets stuck in the “on” position.
Now every burnt piece of toast, every heated conversation, every memory, triggers the alarm — even though the danger is long gone.

EMDR helps recalibrate that alarm system.
It doesn’t erase the past — it just helps your brain finally realize that the fire is out and you're safe now.

But Wait... Do I Have to Relive Everything?

No. This is one of the biggest myths about EMDR.

You do not have to tell your whole story in detail.
You don’t have to relive everything.
You don’t have to talk about anything until you feel ready.

EMDR focuses on how the memory is stored in your nervous system — not how you explain it out loud. It’s often gentler than traditional talk therapy, especially for people who’ve been through trauma.

You are always in control.
We go at your pace.
And I’ll be with you the whole way.

How EMDR Addresses Negative Core Beliefs

One of the most impactful parts of EMDR is how it helps transform negative core beliefs you may have carried for years.

These beliefs usually come from trauma or painful life experiences — especially in childhood — and they often show up as inner narratives like:

Common Negative Core Beliefs:

• I’m not enough

• I’m not safe

• My needs don’t matter

• I’m a burden

• I should have done something

• I’m unlovable

• I can’t trust anyone

• I’m too much

Through EMDR, we explore where those beliefs took root and help your brain reprocess them into more adaptive, compassionate beliefs.

Examples of More Adaptive Beliefs:

• I am enough just as I am

• I am safe now

• My needs are valid and important

• I am allowed to take up space

• I did the best I could

• I am lovable and worthy of connection

• I can choose who to trust

• I can be myself and still be accepted

You don’t have to force these new beliefs. EMDR helps them feel true — not just as affirmations, but as felt experiences your nervous system actually believes.

What Happens in an EMDR Session?

EMDR follows a structured process, but it’s always tailored to you. A few key elements include:

• Preparation: You learn grounding and coping tools before we ever go near painful memories.

• Treatment planning and target identification: Together, we explore the experiences, memories, or beliefs that continue to affect you today. These become the “targets” for EMDR — not just big traumatic events, but also moments that shaped how you see yourself, your safety, or your worth.

• Targeting a memory: You bring up just enough of a memory to work with — not to get overwhelmed, but to process.

• Bilateral stimulation: This might be eye movements, tapping, or buzzers in your hands — it helps both sides of the brain process information in a more adaptive way.

• Reprocessing: Over time, the memory becomes less intense, less “charged,” and more resolved.

Clients often say things like "It still happened, but it doesn’t hurt the same way anymore."

Is EMDR Right for Me?

It might be — especially if you:

• Feel stuck in the past or triggered often

• Can’t explain your reactions, but know they’re linked to something deeper

• Feel like you’ve already talked about things but still carry the weight

• Struggle with anxiety, PTSD, childhood trauma, or emotional overwhelm

At Flourish Therapy and Wellness, I specialize in using EMDR with women who are carrying too much — sometimes for years — and are ready to feel more grounded, free, and whole.

You Can Heal the Parts of You That Still Hurt

If you’re curious about EMDR, I’d love to talk with you.

There’s no pressure and no expectation to jump in fast.
Just a safe place to explore if this could be part of your healing.

Let’s connect. I offer a free 15-minute consultation to help you decide if EMDR or trauma therapy might be a good fit for you.

Why You Shut Down When Life Gets Too Loud

Have you ever had a moment where everything just…stopped?

Your mind goes blank. You feel disconnected from your body. You know you should care, but you just don’t. Maybe you're scrolling for hours, staring at a wall, or doing everything you can to avoid what’s in front of you.

If this sounds familiar, you're not broken and you're not alone. This is actually a very common trauma response.

The Freeze Response: Your Nervous System's Survival Mode

When life feels too overwhelming, your nervous system steps in to protect you. Most people have heard of "fight or flight," but there's another important response: freeze. It’s your body’s way of saying, “This is too much. Let’s shut down until it feels safe again.”

This might show up as:

• Numbness or emotional flatness

• Spacing out or disconnecting

• Feeling tired all the time

• Going through the motions but not feeling present

• Procrastinating or avoiding things you normally care about

You may feel lazy, unmotivated, or “not yourself,” but what’s actually happening is this: your body is trying to protect you the best way it knows how.

Why It Happens: Trauma and Emotional Overload

If you've lived through experiences where you had to be “on” all the time emotionally, mentally, or physically, you may have learned to shut down as a survival strategy. It can come from:

• Growing up in a high-stress or chaotic home

• Having to be the “strong one” for everyone

• Experiencing abuse, neglect, or betrayal

• Being constantly overwhelmed with no time to rest or feel safe

Over time, your nervous system starts to view rest, stillness, or emotional vulnerability as dangerous. So when life gets intense, your body pulls the emergency brake.

There’s Nothing Wrong With You

This is the most important thing I want you to know:
Your reactions make sense.
They’re rooted in protection, not weakness.

Your system may be stuck in survival mode, but that doesn't mean you're broken. It means you’ve been carrying too much for too long, and now it’s time to gently set it down.

How Therapy Can Help You Reconnect

You don’t have to figure this out alone. At Flourish Therapy and Wellness, I help women just like you heal from trauma, reclaim their energy, and feel connected to life again.

We use a blend of approaches tailored to your needs, including:

• EMDR to help your brain process painful memories without reliving them

• DBT skills like grounding, emotion regulation, and mindfulness to help you feel safe in your body again

• Parts work to gently meet the protective parts of you that learned to shut down

Together, we can build a sense of internal safety so you don’t have to live in shutdown or survival mode anymore.

You Can Feel Alive Again

If you’ve been numb, disconnected, or just going through the motions, therapy can help you reconnect with yourself.
Not overnight, and not without effort, but with care, consistency, and support.

It’s possible to feel present, peaceful, and more like yourself again.