What Is EMDR Therapy — And Could It Help You?

If you’ve been carrying something heavy for a long time — a painful memory, a deep hurt, a “why can’t I just move on?” feeling — you might wonder if therapy could ever really help.

Maybe you’ve tried talking it out and felt worse after.
Maybe the thought of reliving it all sounds terrifying.
Maybe you’re just tired of holding it together.

That’s where EMDR comes in.

So... What Is EMDR?

EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing — but don’t worry, you don’t need to remember all of that.

What matters is this:
EMDR helps your brain process traumatic or painful experiences in a way that actually reduces their emotional charge.

It’s like your brain has a “stuck file” full of unprocessed memories and EMDR helps that file finally move through the system, so it doesn’t keep triggering you over and over.

Here’s a Metaphor: The Broken Alarm System

Imagine your brain is like a smoke detector.

When real danger happens — a fire, for example — it goes off.
But sometimes, after trauma, that alarm gets stuck in the “on” position.
Now every burnt piece of toast, every heated conversation, every memory, triggers the alarm — even though the danger is long gone.

EMDR helps recalibrate that alarm system.
It doesn’t erase the past — it just helps your brain finally realize that the fire is out and you're safe now.

But Wait... Do I Have to Relive Everything?

No. This is one of the biggest myths about EMDR.

You do not have to tell your whole story in detail.
You don’t have to relive everything.
You don’t have to talk about anything until you feel ready.

EMDR focuses on how the memory is stored in your nervous system — not how you explain it out loud. It’s often gentler than traditional talk therapy, especially for people who’ve been through trauma.

You are always in control.
We go at your pace.
And I’ll be with you the whole way.

How EMDR Addresses Negative Core Beliefs

One of the most impactful parts of EMDR is how it helps transform negative core beliefs you may have carried for years.

These beliefs usually come from trauma or painful life experiences — especially in childhood — and they often show up as inner narratives like:

Common Negative Core Beliefs:

• I’m not enough

• I’m not safe

• My needs don’t matter

• I’m a burden

• I should have done something

• I’m unlovable

• I can’t trust anyone

• I’m too much

Through EMDR, we explore where those beliefs took root and help your brain reprocess them into more adaptive, compassionate beliefs.

Examples of More Adaptive Beliefs:

• I am enough just as I am

• I am safe now

• My needs are valid and important

• I am allowed to take up space

• I did the best I could

• I am lovable and worthy of connection

• I can choose who to trust

• I can be myself and still be accepted

You don’t have to force these new beliefs. EMDR helps them feel true — not just as affirmations, but as felt experiences your nervous system actually believes.

What Happens in an EMDR Session?

EMDR follows a structured process, but it’s always tailored to you. A few key elements include:

• Preparation: You learn grounding and coping tools before we ever go near painful memories.

• Treatment planning and target identification: Together, we explore the experiences, memories, or beliefs that continue to affect you today. These become the “targets” for EMDR — not just big traumatic events, but also moments that shaped how you see yourself, your safety, or your worth.

• Targeting a memory: You bring up just enough of a memory to work with — not to get overwhelmed, but to process.

• Bilateral stimulation: This might be eye movements, tapping, or buzzers in your hands — it helps both sides of the brain process information in a more adaptive way.

• Reprocessing: Over time, the memory becomes less intense, less “charged,” and more resolved.

Clients often say things like "It still happened, but it doesn’t hurt the same way anymore."

Is EMDR Right for Me?

It might be — especially if you:

• Feel stuck in the past or triggered often

• Can’t explain your reactions, but know they’re linked to something deeper

• Feel like you’ve already talked about things but still carry the weight

• Struggle with anxiety, PTSD, childhood trauma, or emotional overwhelm

At Flourish Therapy and Wellness, I specialize in using EMDR with women who are carrying too much — sometimes for years — and are ready to feel more grounded, free, and whole.

You Can Heal the Parts of You That Still Hurt

If you’re curious about EMDR, I’d love to talk with you.

There’s no pressure and no expectation to jump in fast.
Just a safe place to explore if this could be part of your healing.

Let’s connect. I offer a free 15-minute consultation to help you decide if EMDR or trauma therapy might be a good fit for you.

Why You Shut Down When Life Gets Too Loud

Have you ever had a moment where everything just…stopped?

Your mind goes blank. You feel disconnected from your body. You know you should care, but you just don’t. Maybe you're scrolling for hours, staring at a wall, or doing everything you can to avoid what’s in front of you.

If this sounds familiar, you're not broken and you're not alone. This is actually a very common trauma response.

The Freeze Response: Your Nervous System's Survival Mode

When life feels too overwhelming, your nervous system steps in to protect you. Most people have heard of "fight or flight," but there's another important response: freeze. It’s your body’s way of saying, “This is too much. Let’s shut down until it feels safe again.”

This might show up as:

• Numbness or emotional flatness

• Spacing out or disconnecting

• Feeling tired all the time

• Going through the motions but not feeling present

• Procrastinating or avoiding things you normally care about

You may feel lazy, unmotivated, or “not yourself,” but what’s actually happening is this: your body is trying to protect you the best way it knows how.

Why It Happens: Trauma and Emotional Overload

If you've lived through experiences where you had to be “on” all the time emotionally, mentally, or physically, you may have learned to shut down as a survival strategy. It can come from:

• Growing up in a high-stress or chaotic home

• Having to be the “strong one” for everyone

• Experiencing abuse, neglect, or betrayal

• Being constantly overwhelmed with no time to rest or feel safe

Over time, your nervous system starts to view rest, stillness, or emotional vulnerability as dangerous. So when life gets intense, your body pulls the emergency brake.

There’s Nothing Wrong With You

This is the most important thing I want you to know:
Your reactions make sense.
They’re rooted in protection, not weakness.

Your system may be stuck in survival mode, but that doesn't mean you're broken. It means you’ve been carrying too much for too long, and now it’s time to gently set it down.

How Therapy Can Help You Reconnect

You don’t have to figure this out alone. At Flourish Therapy and Wellness, I help women just like you heal from trauma, reclaim their energy, and feel connected to life again.

We use a blend of approaches tailored to your needs, including:

• EMDR to help your brain process painful memories without reliving them

• DBT skills like grounding, emotion regulation, and mindfulness to help you feel safe in your body again

• Parts work to gently meet the protective parts of you that learned to shut down

Together, we can build a sense of internal safety so you don’t have to live in shutdown or survival mode anymore.

You Can Feel Alive Again

If you’ve been numb, disconnected, or just going through the motions, therapy can help you reconnect with yourself.
Not overnight, and not without effort, but with care, consistency, and support.

It’s possible to feel present, peaceful, and more like yourself again.