Why Summer Feels So Hard (Even When You Love Time With Your Kids) — And How to Stay Regulated

You love your kids.
You’re grateful for the sunshine.
And you’re also… exhausted.

If summer break feels harder than it “should,” you're not alone.
Many women — especially moms, caregivers, or those carrying a lot — find themselves feeling overwhelmed, overstimulated, and on edge during the summer months.

Even if everything looks fine from the outside, your nervous system might be telling a different story.

So Why Does Summer Feel So Dysregulating?

Trauma therapy often teaches us that the body remembers what the mind tries to minimize. And summer, despite its bright exterior, can be a perfect storm for internal chaos — especially for those in long-term survival mode.

Let’s break it down:

• Routines disappear: Without predictable structure, your nervous system may feel unmoored

• More noise, less space: If you’re constantly “on” for your kids or family, your system might never get a chance to reset

• Old triggers resurface: Unprocessed emotions can sneak up when there’s less external structure to hold things together

• No time for you: Caregiving intensifies, while time to regulate, rest, or process disappears

And if you're already someone who tends to carry too much, manage everyone else's needs, or ignore your own signs of burnout — summer can push those patterns into overdrive.

What’s Really Happening Underneath

From a trauma-informed lens, this season often brings up internal parts that are trying to cope:

• The overfunctioning part that says “just keep going”

• The shut-down part that zones out after the kids go to bed

• The perfectionist part that tries to make every day magical

• The resentful part that feels unseen, but doesn’t know how to say it

You are not broken for feeling scattered or snappy.
Your system is trying to protect you — but it may be doing so in ways that are no longer helpful.

That’s where regulation work comes in.

How to Stay Regulated in a Dysregulated Season

Here are a few practical ways to support your nervous system, your emotions, and you — even in the middle of a messy, noisy summer.

Name What’s Happening Inside You

Start by simply noticing:

• “I’m feeling overstimulated.”

• “I’m in survival mode right now.”

• “A part of me is exhausted and trying to shut down.”

Naming the state helps shift your brain from reaction to awareness.

Use the TIPP Skill (DBT Quick Reset Tool)

TIPP helps your body calm down fast when you're flooded:

• T – Temperature: Splash cold water on your face or hold an ice pack

• I – Intense exercise: Do 30 seconds of jumping jacks, wall pushups, or dance it out

• P – Paced breathing: Breathe in for 4, out for 6

• P – Progressive muscle relaxation: Tense and release your shoulders, jaw, or fists

Even just one step can help your body shift gears.

Schedule One Pocket of Regulation Per Day

This isn’t about long self-care rituals. It’s about tiny moments that restore you.

Try:

• Sitting outside alone for 5 minutes

• Putting in headphones and breathing deeply during nap time

• Stretching before bed

• Saying “no” to one thing — even if it’s just picking up the living room

Tiny boundaries = nervous system kindness.

Be Gentle With the Parts That Are Struggling

Instead of pushing through, try speaking to your inner parts with compassion:

• “Of course you’re overwhelmed. It’s been a lot.”

• “You’ve been trying so hard to hold it all together.”

• “You’re not failing. You’re exhausted.”

Compassion creates internal safety — and internal safety allows for regulation.

You’re Not Too Much — You’re Carrying Too Much

Summer might look like sunshine, but for many women, it brings overstimulation, invisible labor, and emotional overload.

The good news? You can learn to regulate, reconnect, and feel more steady — even in a season that feels anything but.

At Flourish Therapy and Wellness, I work with women who are holding more than their share. Using tools like DBT, parts work, and EMDR, we create space to rest, feel, and rebuild.

You don’t have to keep running on empty.

Let’s talk. I offer a free 15-minute consultation to see if therapy might be a supportive next step for you this season.